Of suicides and other troubles….

We all go through different difficult stages in life. I should know.
I’ve been sectioned to a mental ward.

Yes, it’s no lie. I was sectioned. It was hard, it was difficult, it took a while to understand what the hell had just happened.

The backstory: I’ve been fighting depression since I was six years old. After that, I fought a a lot of abuse from my classmates. Which was the cause of my depression. I got more and more depressed. My parents didn’t believe me, my sisters’s did, but that wasn’t enough.
Society failed me.

I got my first friend in late childhood, he was my only friend, which later moved out of town and I was completely alone again.
And thus my journey begins….

We moved. I changed schools, I did a bit better. I got better grades, I was more socially active, it still got worse from here. My paranoia got worse, I hated people even more.

I went to college. I spent two years there and I got a bitt skilled. Less depression. I thought I did something good.

My friend decided that this world wasn’t nice enough for him. It was my fault. He killed him self. I felt like shit for the next 8 years, I still feel like shit over this…

I worked in Reykjavik, drop out of school, earned my living, didn’t do too well at it.

Few other friends died due to suicide – I just got tougher.

Life passed as it does, I got to know few girlfriends, some good, some bad, life went on.

Had a bad crash, police and SAR teams searched for me in the harbor…

Then bifröst came along… I spent my time focusing on that.
I went to the Reykjavik University. Got good grades, then had a massive crash, crashed my courses, went to a psychological ward…
I feel a bit better.

But I still have my paranoia, my schizophrenic, my bi-polar tendencies, lost my girlfriend, which I very much love, and I’d give my life to get back (not much use in that)..

The bottom-line? Fuck life. We all do as we can, we can’t expect anything better than that from ourselves…. We are what we are.

Edit: I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for my awesome flatmates and my lovely girlfriend-at-that-time …