Of suicides and other troubles….

We all go through different difficult stages in life. I should know.
I’ve been sectioned to a mental ward.

Yes, it’s no lie. I was sectioned. It was hard, it was difficult, it took a while to understand what the hell had just happened.

The backstory: I’ve been fighting depression since I was six years old. After that, I fought a a lot of abuse from my classmates. Which was the cause of my depression. I got more and more depressed. My parents didn’t believe me, my sisters’s did, but that wasn’t enough.
Society failed me.

I got my first friend in late childhood, he was my only friend, which later moved out of town and I was completely alone again.
And thus my journey begins….

We moved. I changed schools, I did a bit better. I got better grades, I was more socially active, it still got worse from here. My paranoia got worse, I hated people even more.

I went to college. I spent two years there and I got a bitt skilled. Less depression. I thought I did something good.

My friend decided that this world wasn’t nice enough for him. It was my fault. He killed him self. I felt like shit for the next 8 years, I still feel like shit over this…

I worked in Reykjavik, drop out of school, earned my living, didn’t do too well at it.

Few other friends died due to suicide – I just got tougher.

Life passed as it does, I got to know few girlfriends, some good, some bad, life went on.

Had a bad crash, police and SAR teams searched for me in the harbor…

Then bifröst came along… I spent my time focusing on that.
I went to the Reykjavik University. Got good grades, then had a massive crash, crashed my courses, went to a psychological ward…
I feel a bit better.

But I still have my paranoia, my schizophrenic, my bi-polar tendencies, lost my girlfriend, which I very much love, and I’d give my life to get back (not much use in that)..

The bottom-line? Fuck life. We all do as we can, we can’t expect anything better than that from ourselves…. We are what we are.

Edit: I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for my awesome flatmates and my lovely girlfriend-at-that-time …

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One Response to Of suicides and other troubles….

  1. Pabbi og mamma says:

    Þú ert bara flottur átt alla framtíðina fyrir þér, búinn að gera fullt af flottum hlutum og helling af góðum hugmynd sumt eftir að klára en eins gengur tekur þetta oft tíma að gera eins og gengur gerist lífinu. Það eru alltaf brekkur lífinu bara áskorun að takast á við þær og sigrast þær.Eru mjōg stolta af þér og þykjum óendalega vænt um þig.kær kveðja frá pabba og mömmu

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